Dostoevsky's Notes From The Underground

The old set of rules was rather clear, with a micro level of ambiguity. Going to an age-appropriate social function from the teen years on was pretty clear, one was expected to behave in a certain way and that was that. Sneaking off into the bushes at the church social had a different set of rules, but still some. It was considered all part of providing a pool of eligible men and women to each other for purposes of pairing off. In the main it worked, with the tail end of the distribution becoming “spinsters” or “confirmed bachelors” as the case may be.

In many Western cultures young women were “presented” to the community at the age of 16, with an intent to marry them off in the next couple of years. However all these cultural structures were built on top of clear sex roles, each with responsibilities. And at the end of the dance, men and women paired off more or less appropriately in their SMV, which meant that most women didn’t even get a whiff of Alpha Male HB9, except maybe at some athletic event or movie.

With the mass movement of women into higher education in the late 50’s and the 60’s that arrived just as hormonal birth control and penicillin made sexual promiscuity low cost (in the short term) suddenly a lot of ordinary girls in the 4, 5, 6 SMV had a shot – even if only for one night – at a hot football playing HB8 or 9. Hey, five minutes of alpha…

So in order for the maximal number of women to have their turn on the Alpha carousel, the sex rules had to be rewritten to be much less clear, and much more ambiguous. The old set of rules favored male sexuality, with its clear demarcation lines. The new set of rules, with unending ambiguity that can change even after the fact, favors female sexuality.

The old set of rules meant that a solid plurality of women got the security they craved, but they paid for it by winding up with boring Betas. This chained the Alpha men down for the most part with one woman which no doubt chafed them and also bothered the women who could have gotten their Alpha pony ride, but didn’t because monogamy. Call this a system that benefited the 80% at the expense of the 20%.

The new set of rules means that a solid plurality of women get a shot at some Alpha, but at the considerable cost of having no man at all after a certain age. This doesn’t trouble the Alpha men, least of all the Naturals, and doesn’t bother the higher SMV women that much because the option of soft harems works for them. It is absolutely driving many average men out of the SMP entirely, and it’s doing the same to average women as well. This system is fun for the 20% and is becoming a form of torture for the 80%.

Because the enforcement mechanisms of the new, ambiguous, sexual marketplace favor the few and harm the many. Shy women who won’t hit the party world are harmed because that’s where more and more meetups take place – hence the popularity of match services such as OK Cupid, the various religous Mingle sites, etc. because they enable women to pick and choose from a position of perceived safety. Those women who are not disposed to use Tindr. Those women who just aren’t all that adventurous. Women who might have been tempted to maybe go out with Bob from Accounting 25 years ago now won’t get the chance, because Bob’s been beaten over the head with HR’s “Sexual Harassment Is Evil” lectures so long he’s frankly not going to risk talking to any woman except in the most vague and polite of ways.

Ordinary men swim in a world that is so toxic towards them the temptation to just drop out into other pursuits is very strong. Natural alphas and women don’t get this, of course, but that doesn’t change the reality that is all around us.

In anticipation of some of the usual objections: yeah, it varies with geography and industry and income level. So Not All (Whatever) Are Like That if it makes some people’s feelz better.

But the facts of things like “Affirmative Consent” which can be withdrawn hours, days, maybe even longer after the fact are out there. It’s mandated in some East Coast and all California higher education settings, so it’s going to be normed in business in 10 years or so, and in the wider culture not long afterwards.

The trouble with the whole Sadie Hawkins approach is obvious: 80% of the women will desire 20% of the men. That points to harems one way or another, and that in turn points to an ever less stable civilization for reasons that ought be so obvious I won’t bother to explain them.

– Anonymous Reader