Preevees by Zakiya Harris

"Society is organized in such a way that the natural instincts of men are shameful and criminal while the natural instincts of women are mostly legal and acceptable." – Scott Adams

"Bitch took his balls and now she's just juggling them around in front of him." – frrunkis

What Would Genghis Khan Do?

Award-winning Russian filmmaker Sergei Bodrov illuminates the life and legend of Genghis Khan in his stunning historical epic, MONGOL. Based on leading scholarly accounts and written by Bodrov and Arif Aliyev, MONGOL delves into the dramatic and harrowing early years of the ruler who was born as Temudgin in 1162.

As it follows Temudgin from his perilous childhood to the battle that sealed his destiny, the film paints a multidimensional portrait of the future conqueror, revealing him not as the evil brute of hoary stereotype, but as an inspiring, fearless and visionary leader. MONGOL shows us the making of an extraordinary man, and the foundation on which so much of his greatness rested: his relationship with his wife, Borte, his lifelong love and most trusted advisor.

Asura Online Cinematic

Journey to the West is a classic Chinese tale that has been retold millions of times. It's been referenced by a variety of media, from the movie the Forbidden Kingdom to even Dragon Ball. Asura Online takes the player into a Chinese-themed fantasy world of humans and demon beasts. At the forefront the humans and demon beasts are at war with each other. This is also where the game's name comes to play. "Asura" in East Asian cultures normally refers to demigods, and in this world, where the Monkey King is a key character, there may actually be demigods.

Asura Online uses both videos and still images to tell the story of what has transpired. The demons lost the war, the great dragon was defeated, the great demon generals are dead and the Monkey King has left on the Journey to the West. The player's character, it turns out, is one of the game's great demon generals and instead of perishing like everyone thought, is alive and imprisoned in some kind of hell. Needless to say, the player breaks out.

If I Had A Heart by Fever Ray

This will never end 'cause I want more
More, give me more, give me more
This will never end 'cause I want more
More, give me more, give me more

If I had a heart I could love you
If I had a voice I would sing
After the night when I wake up
I'll see what tomorrow brings

The Hateful Eight by Quentin Tarantino

"When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own. Not of the same blood or birth, but of the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions." — Marcus Aurelius (Meditations, Book II)

Tech Support Tuesdays

Markus: how i imagine okcupid dates http://delicioustacos.com/2014/07/03/the-wolf-witch/
Meg: “he believed that women could smell pheromones through phones and computers.”
Meg: i feel like u guys r soul mates
Markus: i hear the call of the nightbird
Meg: crap you should NOT have shown me this. i can’t stop reading and this cafe closes at 7pm EST
Markus: EST UR MUM
Meg: “which means they were impregnated by someone whose last words will be “hold my beer, watch this.”
Meg: OMG I’m dying “…can never be attracted to a guy who makes a regular paycheck and doesn’t go around looking to punch people. So, that relationship is doomed."
Jesse: https://i.imgur.com/81SaUPt.gifv

Scot: waddup
Markus: reading about zuck giving $100M to jersey http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/05/19/schooled
Karalyn: yeah that didn’t work out well i believe
Markus: globalism is your friend we have a few more credit card offers for you
Scot: hmm you seem like a trustworthy fellow
Scot: can i give you my ssn right now?
Scot: my mothers maiden name is shitentrauser
Markus: happy holidays turklenips https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmSgv9A_ZqM
Scot: holy shit the ying yang twins
Jesse: happy twerk day
Markus: i'm sculpting her ass out of mashed potatoes like richard dreyfuss in close encounters

Markus: Hafþór Björnsson aka 'The Mountain' from Game of Thrones does World Record Keg Toss https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdcnUdzab7E
Jesse: hahaha
Jesse: partied with that guy before in NYC
Jesse: he left with two girls about the fourth of the size of him
Markus: RAAWWWRRRR
Karalyn: star wars was gay
Markus: did the vicodin help?
Markus: was lukes daughter buthexed by darth schlong?
Karalyn: can’t wait to rip down the xmas tree and light it on fire
Markus: just stay home and take a bubble bath and rose petal candles and shit
Markus: damn kids in michigan getting lead poisoning http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3360837/Flint-mayor-declares-state-emergency-water-problems.html

Markus: "This is why I believe in preemptive drama theory. She is going to start shit. She has a biological need for drama. So do yourself a favor and start shit first. Basically women thrive off of emotional variety the way men thrive off of sexual variety. This is why women will just start shit for no fucking reason when shit is going well. The trick, therefore, is to approach it the way woodland firefighters do. By having controlled burns, they reduce the fuel for a forest fire to occur. With women, this means making them feel a range of emotions, even if it's just an act. Throw a little english on the ball for no reason. This will quench their need for emotional variety." – GayLubeOil

Karalyn: who are we talking about?
Markus: all of them
Markus: they are empty souls craving to be filled with emotions
Karalyn: you’re citing people who don’t have hobbies
Karalyn: and people who have daddy issues
Markus: http://www.walmart.com/ip/5026676
Markus: sending them teddy bears of each others selfies lol
Markus: double ahole achievement unlocked
Karalyn: OMG

Fight For Sawmill by Crash Maul